I’m not always good at slowing down. Truth is, I still move fast in a lot of ways—riding in a cart most rounds, checking yardages on my phone, fitting in nine holes between the rest of life. But I’ve come to believe that slowing down isn’t just about pace. It’s about presence. And presence is something I’m learning to fight for.
I didn’t always make time for golf. For years, life was busy in all the typical ways—work, family, endless to-dos. Then came a loss I’ll carry the rest of my life: my daughter passed away in 2019. And everything changed. I didn’t find peace through golf, exactly. But I did find space.
I started carving out more time for the game—not because it healed me, but because something about being around +/- 120 acres of green space, filled with purpose and design and unpredictability, made me feel more alive. There’s something about a golf course that slows the noise in my head, even if I’m still moving at my usual pace.
I notice the way light lands on a green. I pay attention to the sound of a club striking a ball. I get to talk to people I might otherwise may not brush up with. And I try—truly try—not to rush the moment just because the next hole is waiting.
Grief doesn’t leave you. It changes shape, and in the quiet spaces, it still speaks. But so does beauty. So does rhythm. So does the choice to keep showing up for the things that make you feel human.
I’ll probably always have my phone with me to check my yardage. I’ll probably still ride most rounds. But I’m working on slowing down where it matters: in how I listen, how I notice, how I live.
Slowing down is a skill. And I’m still practicing.
– Kurt
Mid Life Golf
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